SSgt Squarepants is the duress word

Master Sergeant Brimstone- "Trainee! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

(Ok this master sergeant was this huge black man with the voice of a southern baptist preacher, he liked to go up to trainee's in the dining hall who were scared out of their minds of him and ask them weird shit like this.)

Sir, Trainee Simian reports as ordered

SGT Marlboro- "I've seen monkey shit fights at the zoo more organised than this!"

(An instructor said this to my brother flight when they were engaging in some serious ass-clownery one afternoon in drill practice)

(Some names in this story have been changed)

"Good morning baby... what are you wearing?"

Sam- "Mays, I hate you. I can't even have phone sex. Have you ever tried to have phone sex on a 14 hour time difference?!!"

(Part of Sam's jealous tirade at a friend of hers who was going to visit her bf after they got out of boot camp.)

Freedom isn't free

Sam- "Tammy, I am in the Air Force now, Everything I do is for your freedom!"

(Sam said this to Tammy after telling her that her reading a romance novel about a guy with two penises was for the sake of science and her freedom.)

Gotta Have Faith

"If there was a god who would give me the sacred task of kicking him in the balls, I'd find that church and believe in his ass."--Derek

Good Bitches Are So Hard To Find These Days

(while waiting for Vira to show up)

"Well, I guess we'll have to go over there and find his ass since he's not being a good bitch and answering his phone."--Derek

Superiority Has Its Downfalls

"That's because girls are leet like whoa."--Anna
"Hmm...perhaps pregnancy is god's way of punishing women for being such a superior gender."--Tammy