False advertisement

Dicky- "Sam, you have lip stick on your teeth."

Sam- "Damn it! Those fricken commercials lied! This is that smudgeproof shit, you know with the commercials that are all, 'Cover Girl Outlast Lip Shine! You can give 27 blowjobs and it wont come off!"

what's in a name?

mark- "dont worry about it, someone has to give you a cleavland steamer to be a whore"

The genitals are always greener... or something

Sam- "It all depends on what side of the fence you are on, and I am on the side with the vaginas."

Trav- "Are you really?"

Sam- "Yeah, cuz I like the view of the side with the penises."

speech in-pen-ament

Sam- "See Phil, you could understand but your penis is in the way!"

go forth and pwn

(I wrote a description of The Count of Monte Cristo to describe it to a friend and in it I said something like "he breaks out of jail and pwns everyone")

Sam- "They should let me write the shit that goes on the back of books."

Tammy- "Sam, you can't say pwned on the back of the book."

Sam- "When I write a book I am going to make sure it says pwned on the back! Just because you said I can't"

Tammy- "Go forth and conquer."

Sam- "No! I will go forth and pwn!"

'shut up brain'

Tammy- "Sam, I just had a 'shut up brain moment' for you..."

In case of zombies... break glass with high heel

(Tammy is wearing a mini skirt, green high heels, and a halter top and looking hella foxy)

Phil- "You look like you should be fighting zombies."

Tammy- "What like Alice in Resident Evil?"

Phil- "Yeah!"

Tammy- "Hmmm, I don't think a gun would go with my ensemble though..."

Phil- "It would if there were zombies!"

Tammy- "Ahhh"

The Marlbroro Woman

Sam- "I like that CJ smokes pussy cigarettes and Tammy smokes cigarettes with BALLS!"

i don't even know

Mark- "OWWWWWW! I STUBBED MY TOE ON YOUR SHOES! ....in the goat ass!"

Sam, Tammy, and Whitnasty ".................."

Takin a leek...

Tammy- "I use leeks to cook with."

Mark- "I use them to spank bitches... (looks at girlfriend) not you..."

Sam- "I'm sure that makes her feel better."

french tickler

Whitnasty- "If it is not sexual... it tickles."