motherly advice

Sam- "Hey mom is this slutty or cute?"

Mom- ".... slutty cute."

Sam- "ok, I can deal with that."

Lets go for a ride...

Dicky- "Sam, will you be my bicycle?"

Sam- "Ewww, no!"

Dicky- "How bout my unicycle... just the once?"

Always read the labels

Sam- "KY isn't chemicals."

Dicky- "Have you read the back of that shit?"

Sam- "Its like Twinkies, I don't want to know whats in them, I just want them in me... wait, that didn't sound right."

Minute man

Dingo - "I don't understand. I used to be Hercules! All of the sudden I am Mercury... nobody's quicker!"