Superiority Has Its Downfalls

"That's because girls are leet like whoa."--Anna
"Hmm...perhaps pregnancy is god's way of punishing women for being such a superior gender."--Tammy

The Big Spoon

Setting: movie night with very comfortable couches

"Next time I'm going to cuddle with you."--Casey
"OK."--Mike
"Can I be the big spoon?"--Casey

(Note: Mike is about twice Casey's size...)

The Speed of Beer

"Do we want another round here?"--Tammy
"Not for me...I'm pacing myself."--Aunt Linda
(Looks at Mom)
"So am I. One right after the other."--Mom

motherly advice

Sam- "Hey mom is this slutty or cute?"

Mom- ".... slutty cute."

Sam- "ok, I can deal with that."

Lets go for a ride...

Dicky- "Sam, will you be my bicycle?"

Sam- "Ewww, no!"

Dicky- "How bout my unicycle... just the once?"

Always read the labels

Sam- "KY isn't chemicals."

Dicky- "Have you read the back of that shit?"

Sam- "Its like Twinkies, I don't want to know whats in them, I just want them in me... wait, that didn't sound right."

Minute man

Dingo - "I don't understand. I used to be Hercules! All of the sudden I am Mercury... nobody's quicker!"