speech in-pen-ament

Sam- "See Phil, you could understand but your penis is in the way!"

go forth and pwn

(I wrote a description of The Count of Monte Cristo to describe it to a friend and in it I said something like "he breaks out of jail and pwns everyone")

Sam- "They should let me write the shit that goes on the back of books."

Tammy- "Sam, you can't say pwned on the back of the book."

Sam- "When I write a book I am going to make sure it says pwned on the back! Just because you said I can't"

Tammy- "Go forth and conquer."

Sam- "No! I will go forth and pwn!"

'shut up brain'

Tammy- "Sam, I just had a 'shut up brain moment' for you..."

In case of zombies... break glass with high heel

(Tammy is wearing a mini skirt, green high heels, and a halter top and looking hella foxy)

Phil- "You look like you should be fighting zombies."

Tammy- "What like Alice in Resident Evil?"

Phil- "Yeah!"

Tammy- "Hmmm, I don't think a gun would go with my ensemble though..."

Phil- "It would if there were zombies!"

Tammy- "Ahhh"

The Marlbroro Woman

Sam- "I like that CJ smokes pussy cigarettes and Tammy smokes cigarettes with BALLS!"

i don't even know

Mark- "OWWWWWW! I STUBBED MY TOE ON YOUR SHOES! ....in the goat ass!"

Sam, Tammy, and Whitnasty ".................."

Takin a leek...

Tammy- "I use leeks to cook with."

Mark- "I use them to spank bitches... (looks at girlfriend) not you..."

Sam- "I'm sure that makes her feel better."